Monday, August 23, 2010

Message in a Dream

There’s this dream that I want to share with you. A dream God used so His message could reach me and give what my soul was craving for – peace.

It was during the time when my heart had its first broken experience. Every day was just like the day before – dull, meaningless, empty. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t smile like I used to. It felt like every thing’s confusing, like I was there but I wasn’t. Every night I prayed to God for the strength to get through it all. Every night I cried to God why all had ended just like that. Though during the day I would gather my strength to keep myself together; every night, I shattered – I was so broken up inside.

Then one night, after praying to Him, I had this dream. It was in a place where we went a week before he said goodbye. We were on a rubber boat waiting for the next wave to come. When the tie was released, we raised our hands up. We clearly were enjoying the ride as the waves came at us. I was so happy with him by my side. It had been like that for a couple of rounds.

Then, at the next bend, there appeared a crossroad. I was too overwhelmed with the current thrill that I didn’t take notice of its presence. When the boat took a hard turn to the left, he was gone. I was so frantic looking all over for him. Different emotions took over me at the same time. I was so sad, so worried, so angry, so frightened that I lost him.

While I was at confusion, I didn’t notice that the boat was moving along a serene lagoon. I was too absorbed with my worries that I failed to notice the beauty surrounding me and took them as nothing but dull scenery. Despite the magnificence of the place, I continued my weeping.

Moments later, the rushing waves returned and I was holding unto my seat again; I was screaming on top of my lungs again; I was having fun again. Before I realized it I was me again. There I understood what God wanted to tell me: no matter how rough the circumstance was, no matter how hard reality would hit, no matter what – He knew it will be okay in the end. He knew I was going to be alright.

When I woke up, a single tear dropped from my eye and something inside me started flourishing. It was Him. His message evidently remained in my heart and filled the empty spaces – making it whole again. And at that instant, I found it – I found peace.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Aia's Jewels

Let me introduce to you the most beautiful, most amazing, most talented person I have ever met -- my best friend: NOVA NIÑA "bang" T. JUAREZ.




She's been my best friend since way back in high school during our fourth year. She's the best gift yet God ever gave me. No one is as blessed as I am to have a friend like her. I love her so very much now and forever.



Very beautiful, isn't she? ^_^

I also had my two close friends from college -- DANICA ZAIDA "aika" BROFAR and BLEZEL "bheng" PADILLA. We used to be stuck together like glue during our first two years in college however, the both of them had their own journey but somehow we managed to connect with one another even after all those years. I really enjoyed their company.


And then, my closest male friend ever -- JOHN JOSEPH "dong" RANARA. He became my friend during our SOEP (a bridging program conducted by DOST for the newly awarded scholars). He was the silent type who always had headphones on his ears and sleeping during break time. I really enjoyed conversing with him, like my best friend, I could talk anything under the sun with him (except I can't talk with him until dawn like I do with Bang.XD


They're the jewels of my life and I love them all. I am so blessed!XD

Lesson of the day: Count not the things you have lost but the blessings you already have.

Baka Fukko

Feelings blinded you that you stubbornly refuse to face the truth
All your attention was captured by that beautiful goldfish in a bowl
That you fail to recognize the vast ocean just outside that window
You thought that it was the most beautiful fish on earth
That it was happy with you while you come and play with it

You knew that goldfish was not yours but you were playing with it
That fish might complain and say it wants to be free -- do not fall for it
It will die once you let it out; it does not want to be free
It loves its bowl -- kisses it every morning, sleeps with it at night --
So much that it is willing to be trapped in it forever and always.

You are just a temporary playmate he was willing to play with
It flicks its fins to astonish you, winks its eyes to spellbound you
But it does not and will not love you back as you do for it -- So what?
Heck – that’s just a fish in a bowl! There’s an ocean out there
Go fish yourself a more beautiful, more amazing catch – stupid hook!

I've Had Enough

Even as I have confessed to the world my feelings for him, as of this moment, I am ending it.

It has become too painful to bear. Love is supposed to be a wonderful feeling; but all I could ever feel are nothing but hopelessness, emptiness and pains. This is just too sad. I feel sorry for myself. I could hear the voice of my pride telling me loud and clear to shut my doors for him and move on. I should have done this sooner for I know he does not and will not love me back even from the start. (Ugh, what am I hoping for?! ~_~)

Once, he referred me as a hook in his poem. A hook that comforts, cares and confuses him. Well, right now, I want to tell him that the hook is untangling him free; that the hook has finally realized that she is setting her targets too low to be capturing a goldfish caged in a fish bowl; and that the hook has decided to go and fish a bigger, more beautiful, more deserving catch in the wide ocean where a lot is free to love her back.

I love him but I don't want to love him anymore. Now, this is final. This goodbye is finally real. This time
mō ii!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Charm's New Look

Last May, I decided to cut my long, straight hair short. It was still the same layered style with bangs almost covering my eyes. I stashed the colored parts (dying your hair can really damage it if you're as lazy to have a monthly treatment as me... so take caution.) to make my hair look black again.

So now, I look like the one you're seeing in here.






What do you think?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

DEAR SIR

When I'm with you, I'd get so thrilled and
My heart just won't slow down
My thoughts would freeze, sensations heightened
Yet I barely make one sound.

One look from you, I'd hold my breath
Then every thing's just a blur
You'd smile at me, I'd lose my strength
My world just stopped, Dear Sir.

When we talk, I'd get excited,
By simply hearing your voice,
When you laugh, I'm fascinated
It's the sweetest kind of noise.

When I'm with you, I'd forget Dear Sir,
You already have someone you love,
Does she know she's one lucky girl?
'Coz she's got the heart I'll never have.

And in this poem, I just partake
Unrequited feelings I have for you
I don't care if my heart re-breaks
Because, Dear Sir, I'm inlove with you.